my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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