I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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