if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
