Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
