he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize