Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
