i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i out mim tonsoeep
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
