Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
