when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
