Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
