She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
