uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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