He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
