Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
