To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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