pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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