We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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