Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We have started to decorate penises.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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