As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
