So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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