The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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