Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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