Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
