Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
