i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
