And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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