i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
