I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
