Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
