butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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