so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can you bring me the toilet please
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
