he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
