I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
