who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There r osticjed everywhere
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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