just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Ladies don't puke and tell
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize