All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
