so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
