i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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