it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
