Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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