Cold hands, warm shart.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
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