Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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