who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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