HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up under a house in Key West
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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