I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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