I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize