Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Randomize
