38 yer olds are good kisserssss
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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