love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I enjoy the company of your penis
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
