hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
