I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
