When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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