ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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