Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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