I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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