Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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