She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize