How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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