Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He better not be in your backpack
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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