Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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