sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
