Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
