I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
